Goodbye March

Flipping back my journal, i realized both (short term) relationships i had happened on March and ended on March. Coincidence? Let's just say God loves to mess with my life.

I deleted HIS photos completely from my computer for HIM;
for in my vain "definitely, maybe"thinking,
i thought i did the right thing.
I thought something great might blossom.
I thought...i thought...

The right thing...
How dumb i was for thinking that.
What'd i do that drove HIM away?
I don't know.
I'm tired of dropping hints to pry answers from HIM.

I ain't sure why,
sleeping so early these few days,
because it's not my kinda lifestyle to sleep before 2a.m.
Yet, i woke up everyday with a huge sense of wanting to puke.

Staring at my books,
piles and piles of them;
i'm not sure when did i lost affection to the one thing that help me through my life,
providing me the comfort of escaping to a place where people can't hurt me.
But i guess i've changed,
in a way i even hated who i am now.

Is it my not so good looks that drive people away?
Bah, the idioms people kept blabbering
"Don't judge a book by its cover" is so...ironic?
People i met are all judgmental and superficial.

Why'd i cover myself with a cap all the time?
People made me this way.
Belittled me like i'm some sort of crap.

I'm gonna stop now.
I guess, no matter what i say,
that son of a bitch would never ever give me the explanation for a closure that i so desperately seek.

Goodbye, March.
For 5 years in a row,
you're the most beautiful month in a year,
but at the same time,
you're the month where hell is on earth.
Ironically, March is a month when spring, summer and winter all roll as one.
There are days when the air is so warm i'd feel cheerful enough to get a walk outside,
and there are days when the air is so cold,
i just wanna crawl into my bed and sulk my life miserable away.

Goodbye.
Au Revoir!
Auf Wiedesehen.
Ciao!