Ah, it's been quite a while since the last time i blab about how horrendous my life is. Well, ya'll know how my life is (well, figures, as if anyone reads my blog anyway), busy busy busy with a schedule jam-packed with tons of obligations.
Anyway, despite all those stuff which i bit on but are all too much for me to chew, to say the least (man, and yet my new year resolution was to NOT say yes to EVERY SINGLE request), i guess it's the right time for me to at least make a little update of my life. (Duh, as if anyone cares, at all, and that's the reason why i don't care if the title of this particular post doesn't make sense at all, since NO ONE CARES!)
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For the past few weeks, my daily diet consist of gulping down some stinky, grainy, powdery stuff with protein powder, along with 8 pills per meal every single day. Why? Let's see.
High blood pressure, check~
Urinary tract infection, check~
Bladder infection, check~
unusually fast heart rate, check~
Migraine, check~
CHECK CHECK CHECK!
I felt as if my whole body is slowly melting, falling apart.
No more coffee, no more rubbish food.
But, one thing i noticed about myself is that,
i kinda got bloated. Maybe due to my lack of exercising.
As if anyone cares about how i look or how fit i am.
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And speaking about my body. Well, for a start, i have a LOT to complain.
To be honest, i am like the least superficial person who cares more about the physical attributes of a person than their inside. For a fact, i'm totally on the opposite side of the fence. Lately, i just couldn't get over the fact that, me being the average looking Joe who doesn't have the killer pecs or model-esque looks, is completely INVISIBLE to the world.
Walking down the 100m stretch of the dorm's hallway with my friend Viecie, i felt invisible, like totally void of the surrounding. No one acknowledge my existence, but when they sees Viecie, their whole face light up, they smile at him, they chat up with him. Whenever i walk down the hallway alone? I'm lucky if i could even get the dogs sunbathing on the field to look at me at all!
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For the countless times, i tried real hard to convince myself that people do actually appreciate me as an individual, and gives me the opportunity to do something that they believe i could do well.
Uh, so wrong.
Last week was a prom thingie for the graduating seniors. Prior to the event, no one approach me for any assistance at all. Now i know why. The day of the event, i was asked to be in charge of the DV camera (the easiet, most useless job). I know for a fact that Roy from my class was set to perform, but when i saw him onstage along with a band and looking all polished and everything, i got sour and envious.
Does anyone knows i could sing well and hit the right notes along with exact pronunciation? Does anyone care to even ask? I want to be in a band, i want people to know, that i could also sing. I'm not jealous of them singing on the stage or anything, nor i crave for limelight attention, what irked me was what followed.
I was asked to audition for the role of Prof. Higgins of the play - My Fair Lady. I know perfectly for a fact that, the ONLY reason the'd even want me there was because of my native-like English pronunciation. If i was judge solely on my looks, well, don't count on them to even give me the time of the day.
Am i that ugly? Am i so average, that people actually doens't think i could sing? Are people really that shallow?
What kills me was the fact that Roy, armed with his HORRIBLE pronunciaion, was asked to audition as well! Go figures.
My self exteem just got squash, hard.
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I met a dude on some friendship/dating site.
Yes, shamelessly, i admit i use those cheesy websites to get to know people, albeit that i don't use them often, as in the last time i went on to the site, it was 3 years ago. I was having this really nice chat with a guy who sound really nice, so everything went real smoothly, and then, he asked for my picture. That's when things fall apart.
I gave him my blog, and the moment he saw what i look like (i have pictures of me here), he blocked me. Yeah, mark this, less than one minute i gave him my blog, he blocked my account!!!! Fuck! People are shallow. Do i really look all that ugly?
For one thing, this isn't really the first time. First, Hall TYS that sick son of a bitch whom i dumped 4 years ago, Zark the DH dude who sent me all the wrong signals, and dumped me with no apparent reason nor any form of explanation, and of course, Henry/Henri who doen't seem to be that much keen on nudging me ever since i came back from his place. Figures.
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So what is the upside of being loaded and armed with a brain? Who cares my wallet is a thousand dollar Armani? Who cares that i own Vuitton? Who gives a fuck that i'm actually filthy rich and could easily buy them into liking me? No, for one thing, i make it a point for people to like me for the person i am, not the materail stuff. That's why i wear the smae clothes a few time a week, i use a cheap 990 bucks Nike messenger, and i keep my Gucci and vuitton away, not wanting to be superficial for flaunting them. What do i get in return? Ignorance from people, brushing me off like i'm not worth their time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm tired. Of them, of everyone around me.
Everyone can go and screw themselves. Especially the person with either one of the 3 names i mentioned above.
Peace out!
Anyway, despite all those stuff which i bit on but are all too much for me to chew, to say the least (man, and yet my new year resolution was to NOT say yes to EVERY SINGLE request), i guess it's the right time for me to at least make a little update of my life. (Duh, as if anyone cares, at all, and that's the reason why i don't care if the title of this particular post doesn't make sense at all, since NO ONE CARES!)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For the past few weeks, my daily diet consist of gulping down some stinky, grainy, powdery stuff with protein powder, along with 8 pills per meal every single day. Why? Let's see.
High blood pressure, check~
Urinary tract infection, check~
Bladder infection, check~
unusually fast heart rate, check~
Migraine, check~
CHECK CHECK CHECK!
I felt as if my whole body is slowly melting, falling apart.
No more coffee, no more rubbish food.
But, one thing i noticed about myself is that,
i kinda got bloated. Maybe due to my lack of exercising.
As if anyone cares about how i look or how fit i am.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And speaking about my body. Well, for a start, i have a LOT to complain.
To be honest, i am like the least superficial person who cares more about the physical attributes of a person than their inside. For a fact, i'm totally on the opposite side of the fence. Lately, i just couldn't get over the fact that, me being the average looking Joe who doesn't have the killer pecs or model-esque looks, is completely INVISIBLE to the world.
Walking down the 100m stretch of the dorm's hallway with my friend Viecie, i felt invisible, like totally void of the surrounding. No one acknowledge my existence, but when they sees Viecie, their whole face light up, they smile at him, they chat up with him. Whenever i walk down the hallway alone? I'm lucky if i could even get the dogs sunbathing on the field to look at me at all!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For the countless times, i tried real hard to convince myself that people do actually appreciate me as an individual, and gives me the opportunity to do something that they believe i could do well.
Uh, so wrong.
Last week was a prom thingie for the graduating seniors. Prior to the event, no one approach me for any assistance at all. Now i know why. The day of the event, i was asked to be in charge of the DV camera (the easiet, most useless job). I know for a fact that Roy from my class was set to perform, but when i saw him onstage along with a band and looking all polished and everything, i got sour and envious.
Does anyone knows i could sing well and hit the right notes along with exact pronunciation? Does anyone care to even ask? I want to be in a band, i want people to know, that i could also sing. I'm not jealous of them singing on the stage or anything, nor i crave for limelight attention, what irked me was what followed.
I was asked to audition for the role of Prof. Higgins of the play - My Fair Lady. I know perfectly for a fact that, the ONLY reason the'd even want me there was because of my native-like English pronunciation. If i was judge solely on my looks, well, don't count on them to even give me the time of the day.
Am i that ugly? Am i so average, that people actually doens't think i could sing? Are people really that shallow?
What kills me was the fact that Roy, armed with his HORRIBLE pronunciaion, was asked to audition as well! Go figures.
My self exteem just got squash, hard.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I met a dude on some friendship/dating site.
Yes, shamelessly, i admit i use those cheesy websites to get to know people, albeit that i don't use them often, as in the last time i went on to the site, it was 3 years ago. I was having this really nice chat with a guy who sound really nice, so everything went real smoothly, and then, he asked for my picture. That's when things fall apart.
I gave him my blog, and the moment he saw what i look like (i have pictures of me here), he blocked me. Yeah, mark this, less than one minute i gave him my blog, he blocked my account!!!! Fuck! People are shallow. Do i really look all that ugly?
For one thing, this isn't really the first time. First, Hall TYS that sick son of a bitch whom i dumped 4 years ago, Zark the DH dude who sent me all the wrong signals, and dumped me with no apparent reason nor any form of explanation, and of course, Henry/Henri who doen't seem to be that much keen on nudging me ever since i came back from his place. Figures.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So what is the upside of being loaded and armed with a brain? Who cares my wallet is a thousand dollar Armani? Who cares that i own Vuitton? Who gives a fuck that i'm actually filthy rich and could easily buy them into liking me? No, for one thing, i make it a point for people to like me for the person i am, not the materail stuff. That's why i wear the smae clothes a few time a week, i use a cheap 990 bucks Nike messenger, and i keep my Gucci and vuitton away, not wanting to be superficial for flaunting them. What do i get in return? Ignorance from people, brushing me off like i'm not worth their time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm tired. Of them, of everyone around me.
Everyone can go and screw themselves. Especially the person with either one of the 3 names i mentioned above.
Peace out!
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