Of Relationship and being Gay.

It's been a while since the last time i post any
relationship related stuff. Well, the previous
post wasn't so much of a relationship post as all i
did was writing bad stuff about my ex.

It's been a whole two years,
and i have to say, finally, i'm really through
with it. I've deleted the last ever sms he sent me
which i preciously saved in my phone for 2 years.
It just hit me this morning, it's The day,
that i have to let go, since it's not like he'll
even care less if i keep the sms for the rest of
my life. From now on, i won't care a bit if he
screw his life. Heck, i don't care if he turn into
the devil himself...oops, Steve Jobs (founder of
Apple Inc.)

Ever since i came here, i have crush on 3 particular
person. My lecturer (hereinafter known as DB),
an Italian transfer student (P) and my roommate (R).

I guess part of the reason i had a crush on my lecturer
Mr. DB is because he's cute, he looks sensitive,
he's soft spoken, and like i mentioned before, the killer eyes,
that is both soft yet...mysterious in a way that is inexplainable.
But hey, nothing will happen (although deep down, i do
wish for something to happen, hahahahaha!!!)
since i have no idea how old he is, and he's my lecturer,
for God's sake. A great friend maybe, since we had a
great conversation in MSN 2 days ago.

Hey, stop accusing me of being a slut or something for
having a crush on my lecturer. Don't you straight people
have a crush on your teachers before? Duh!

Anyway, Mr. DB is clearly out of the league.
So, it goes down to Italian P and Taiwanese R.
Which doesn't look good as P will only be here for 2 months,
and R is definitely straight to the core of his bone.
Heck, i even help him to pursuit a girl he have a
crush on. I kinda have this feeling he knows
my orientation as he likes to ask me for my opinion on
how to dress sharp and smart.
(roll your sleeve, not folding them, and leave the 1st button off!)
(Black looks good on him!!)


So, that's about the closest thing of a relationship i had in years.
A guy might hope, but i have this feeling...tired, maybe?
Or it's just simply that i realize my perspective are something
else important?

I haven't really told anyone about my orientation here,
i'll leave them to discover themselves. Not that i'm
afraid or whatever, it's just i don't wanna go through whatever
i endured last year. It also breaks my heart that some
people here make fun of gay people.
They just don't understand how hard it is being one.

That is why i state clearly on my profile that i am gay,
take it or leave it. Your choice.